You are not with me, save by absence, by Anton Nemeth

This poem was not created in the Switchboard Connections workshop, but was read during the public reading because of its thematic appropriateness.

You are not with me, save by absence

It is night here, and I'm half awake
The dim light is like the pale sensation
That there once was a fullness;
A fulness that my arms and other parts
Of this body, mind, and heart
Grope for in this vacuum,
But you are not here.

The parts and wholeness of you
I once wrapped around, caressed,
And felt connected to,
Even sacredly entered,
All of which exquisitely
Responded to me,
Are not here.

The segments of my senses search,
But their tumescent interests
Are impotent against your absence.

The silence has nothing to say to me.
It is not mocking, only vacant of you.

The day and night are a flickering film strip
Passing through my attention
And you dominate each frame
By your absence.

Anton Nemeth
Belize, May 24, 2010